This post largely concerns the Feminist Deck Kickstarter, of which the above picture of @AthenaHollow is a part of. To explain to you the meaning of today’s successes for me, I think you need to understand a piece of my history. And if you’re here, you’re probably here to read that. Maybe. Whatever, let’s do this.
When I launched the Feminist Deck Kickstarter this morning, I hadn’t had much sleep. I woke at four from strange dreams that fled under the threat of scrutiny. Little rat thoughts that ate away at my confidence and shook my nerves and made me feel sick, that’s what they were.
I have not always been afraid of failure, but the last time I wasn’t was when I was a small child.
It’s hard to not be afraid of failure when failure can mean so much, or has meant so much in the past. The good news is, if the Kickstarter fails to get funded, that’s it. That’s the whole failure, and I can live with that. That’s not a home, that’s not a job. It’s just a thing I did out of love for all of these people’s good works.
I can’t believe they continue to inspire me so much that I’m just going to be working forever. This project, if successful, could just become something I do, making comics and cards and beautiful things for an appreciative audience.
I don’t know where my fears came from, but the positive response to the Kickstarter today has driven me to tears, and laughter, and disbelief, and wild smiles, and bragging, and madness, and a thousand other little feelings that tell me how much I love the project, how much it matters to me. Writing this, and seeing the response, has been just amazing.
So far, the response has been overwhelmingly positive. There has been no abuse, only love. I am filled with hope and delight and I just want to say that I love you all, I love the backers, I love the participants, I love the people who signal boost, I even love you, stranger, because today is a day where I think I could love the whole world.
I am filled with unimaginable joy. Thank you, beautiful tweeps.
I’ve got friends but not many, or I didn’t. Suddenly having all this support and kindness is just so amazing. For what it’s worth, whatever kindness you’ve offered to me and this project, you have my kindness in return. Thank you, friends, for giving me inspiration, hope, and dreams.